


a remedy for your memories

by MrsNoraPalmer



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, So much angst, but I had to do it, i'm sorry if this makes you cry, nora is a huge masochist in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-03 22:46:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17292839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsNoraPalmer/pseuds/MrsNoraPalmer
Summary: Nora accidentally runs into Anna Loring on a mission to 2012 and witnesses the happiness between Anna and Ray. This leads her to one painful conclusion: go back to May 2014 and save Anna, no matter the consequences to the timeline or to her own life.Basically Nora is a giant masochist and this might hurt a lot.





	a remedy for your memories

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this idea and it demanded to be written. I'm sorry. This one will hurt but it's got a happy ending! Enjoy!

She spent a long time in their room. She knew it would be the last time she would be probably anywhere after she went back. She stared at the pictures of her and Ray that were pinned to a corkboard above their shared desk, tracing her fingers over the look of love on her face. She loved this man with all of her heart, all of her mind, and all of her soul, and that’s why she knew she had to do this. It was the right thing. He would get back years of happiness. Avoid months of pain and anguish. He would be so much better off.

She touched the turquoise necklace at her throat, remembering how she had briefly freaked out thinking it was an engagement ring. She laughed bitterly, glancing down at the engagement ring that glittered on her finger he had given her only two weeks later. She should be planning her own wedding right now but instead she was planning to go back and let Ray marry another. Someone so much better suited for him.

It all started when they went on a mission, back to 2012, Star City. Someone had displaced Queen Elizabeth I as a child into an orphanage. She had gone there, familiar with group homes, asylums, orphanages, and the like, to be able to get the future queen out of there when she met one of the volunteers. She had been kind, amazing with the kids, always going the extra mile, incredibly sweet to Nora, making her feel right at home and not like a newbie. Her badge had said _Loring_ and she had her suspicions at first, and then the woman said her name was Anna and her gut bottomed out. Ray’s late fiancee. Because of course she would be volunteering with orphans.

Nora made herself scarce in case the worst happened, and it had. She had watched as a slightly younger version of her own fiance stepped into the room, gave Anna a kiss, and asked if she was ready to go. Her throat had constricted at the sight. Not out of jealousy, not out of anger, but because she saw how happy Ray was. His whole life was ahead of him. And a future with Anna. Nora Darhk, to him, was just a nine year old girl if he had even heard of her. Not a woman he was now, in her present, wanting to build a life with.

Nora hadn’t said a word about meeting Ray’s late fiancee, even when he asked because he knew Anna had volunteered at the same place. She had lied through her teeth, thankful she could still lie as well as she always could with that much pain coursing through her veins. The night she got back she couldn’t sleep, she thought about all the pain Ray had gone through, all the pain she had caused him. And it all stemmed from losing Anna. Losing her had been his catalyst to becoming the ATOM, which led him to becoming a Legend, which led him to her. But that path had been riddled with pain not just physical, but emotional; he had dated not one, but two women who had left him for another man (that always baffled her because it was _Ray_ , amazing, wonderful Ray).

And here she was, the fourth woman in Ray’s life, the third fiancee, and maybe even his third choice? She knew that Ray loved her but if he had the choice to be with any of his exes, Anna included, would he still choose her? Unlikely.

Now Nora was leaving, to take the jumpship to May 2014 and prevent Anna’s death. She wasn’t sure how she would do it, she needed to let history run its course just enough so that it would still be Oliver that took down Deathstroke, but basically save Anna and Ray and get the hell out of there. Once history cemented she would more than likely be erased from the timeline but she didn’t care. Without Ray becoming the ATOM, he wouldn’t be a Legend, and there wouldn’t be anyone to take her father back to trade places with her in Zambesi as Mallus’s vessel. She knew she was sacrificing herself for good, so maybe that would make up for what she would do when the timeline changed.

She looked back down at her engagement ring, played with it, and eventually slid it off, placing it on Ray’s nightstand. Once history cemented, he wouldn’t be needing it anyways and neither would she.

Nora was on her way to the jumpship when she heard familiar heavy footsteps behind her. Ray. She tried to ignore it but the steps increased in pace until they finally got close enough for whoever they belong to, to gently grab her arm. Nora stopped, took in a deep breath, and turned around to face Ray.

“Where are you going?” He asked. “I was just coming back to the room to ask if you wanted Chinese for dinner and I found this on my nightstand.” He held up her engagement ring and Nora’s throat tightened.

“Ray…”

“Nora… did I do something wrong? I’m sorry if I had, please, tell me and we work through this. I don’t want to lose you.”

But that was exactly what he was about to do, even if in the new timeline he’d never know it. Nora gently pulled her arm away from his grasp and took in a deep breath. “You didn’t do anything, Ray… I…” She looked in his eyes, the kind, chocolate brown, puppy dog eyes that always seemed to brighten her day. The ones that always had love for her in them. The ones that she always pictured on an adorable baby when she thought about their future children. Those eyes that deserved to look at Anna again. And she knew in that moment she couldn’t lie to him. She might be able to pull off a convincing excuse for why she was leaving, but she knew she just couldn’t lie to him anymore.

“Do you really want to know why I’m leaving?”

Ray, close to tears now. “Yes.”

Nora closed her eyes, willing herself to just tell him the truth. “I lied when I said I hadn’t met Anna. I not only met but I saw you with her when I went back… I… saw how good you guys were together. I saw how in love with her that you were and I just couldn’t handle it. You deserve to be that happy, Ray. And it’s not going to be with me. I know that. Anna was perfect for you. And I’m going to make sure that you can have the life you always dreamed with her.”  
“Nora… no… what? You can’t…”

She shook her head. “Don’t tell me all the reasons why I shouldn’t, Ray, none of them matter. There may be more reasons why I shouldn’t but I know that the one reason why I should matters the most. And it’s your happiness.”

“I’m happy with you! I want to marry you!” Ray stepped towards her but Nora took a step back.

Nora held up her hands, she feared if she let him touch her again she wouldn’t go through with it.

“Please, let me do this. You won’t even remember me but you’ll instead have wonderful memories of being with Anna, marrying her, and all the kids you’ll have. When we got together I should’ve realized that my place in your life was just a result of you making happiness out of some really crappy situations. This way all of that goes away and you can have true happiness.”

“How can be so sure?”

“Don’t know unless we try, right?” She shrugged and smiled sadly at him.

Ray shook his head. “No, if you try, you’ll erase yourself from the timeline. You dad won’t take your place and you’ll die, Nora. There’s not a timeline I can bare to be in where you’re dead. It’s why I took your dad back. I didn’t realize he’d sacrifice himself for you. I thought I’d be walking onto that jumpship with the both of you. But if I’m not there to do that, he doesn’t go back at all. And _you die_.”

“And if I go back and do this, Anna won’t. I promise this is for the better, Ray. The Legends have tried to warn me that it could be really bad but I can’t seem to figure out why a timeline where you have the happiness you’ve always been meant to have could be catastrophic to the rest of reality.” She finally inched closed to him, wanting to say goodbye one last time. “Let me do this, please.” She reached up and cupped his face, kissing him softly. “I love you, and that’s why I’m doing this.”

“Nora… this is my life you’re messing with, my life, and messing with it in a way I didn’t ask you to. I can’t imagine my life happier than it is when I’m with you. Please don’t do this.”

Nora considered his words for a minute. She let him pull her in close and she cried quietly against him. They cried together. She didn’t want to erase herself, she wanted to stay here and be happy with Ray but she knew that Ray would be happier with someone else.

“But… Anna, wouldn’t you do anything to get her back if you had the chance? This is your chance, Ray!”

“Not at the cost of your life. Anna was my past and made me who I am today. Made me someone who was worthy and ready to love you. You’re not second best to her or anyone else I’ve been with. I didn’t just make do with my circumstances, I chose you and I will choose you over and over again, Nora. I asked you to marry me because I want you to be my future as well as my present. So I don’t want you to change my past.”

Nora lifted her head up and swallowed hard. “I… I just want you to be happy…”

“I am with you.” He presents her engagement ring again. “Now will you please put this back on and abandon this masochistic plan of yours?”

Nora, now crying, looked at him through teary ears. “I’m really your first choice?”

“You’re my first choice, always.” He kissed her forehead. “And soon you’ll be my wife.” He smiled and she held out her left hand. He slid the ring back to its rightful place and kissed her knuckles.

Nora wrapped her arms around him and held him close and then let him lead her back to their room.


End file.
